Executor, we must build additional pylons. Executor!?!

I suck at real-time strategy games. Building my headquarters, training a well-balanced and effective force, with only a guess as to the opponent's strength, strategy, and even location; it all makes me...exceedingly anxious. I get paranoid, and never make the bold move necessary to be a good commander.

When I was 10 or 11, I had a friend, the son of a youth pastor, who was addicted to Command and Conquer: Red Alert. I used to come over, watch him play, and admire his skills. The opening FMV, in which Einstein builds a time machine to go back and kill Hitler, unintentionally causing the rise of a greater Soviet threat, was fascinating to me. My friend's father eventually limited the time he could spend playing "war games," but by that time I owned the first C&C myself (a gift from another friend). I loved the FMVs (I was a child of the 90's), but I could never muster enough enthusiasm for the gameplay itself to finish it.

Last week, I finished my first RTS: the gold standard of the genre, Starcraft. It took me months, but I did it. And I have to say that it was, on the whole, not fun. I can appreciate how the different races, each forcing fundamentally different strategies, remain so delicately balanced. I even enjoyed the simple story of humans and honor-loving aliens joining forces to remove an infestation of large insects. I love that the outworld Terrans all sound like hicks. But it is very likely that, for me, the RTS will forever be a chore.